Day ten – shattered dreams

I almost forgot to do my morning papers this morning. I woke this morning with one thought on my mind and that was to work on my ‘ice-breaker’ speech for the Toastmasters of Walsh College Troy. Yes, I have just recently joined the Toastmasters club for various reasons. One was to develop speech writing skills as well as public speaking skills. Though I do speak in front of a large classroom of college students, this is different.  

I woke, printed off my first draft that I wrote not too long ago and began to practice it – it was too short. It had to be at least 4 minutes long. It was 3 minutes and 52 seconds. I added a few more things and it ended up too much because the speech ended up 8 minutes long! Whoa! I edited it once more and it is now good. It is about 4 minutes and 12 seconds long. It is titled, “By All Appearances”. It is basically an introduction speech about myself and discusses a part of me. 

When I finished that – that took me about an hour and half. I wanted to shovel the walkway in our deck. While I was doing that, I got the trash can (they finally got the garbage – it was delayed two days due to the winter storm) and pick up mail. In the mail box was my textbook for my upcoming grant writing class! Yay! The title of the textbook is “The Everything Grant Writing Book” – by Nancy Burke Smith and Judy Tremore. 2nd edition. I have to get two more and will get those next week when I get my finances rolling in. I hadn’t worked for two weeks due to having a holiday break. 

What prompted me to enroll towards certification in not for profit management and in Toastmasters? It is a career change for me, and it was because I had interviewed for a leadership position at a not for profit organization not too long ago that I thought would be a dream career for me. Sadly I did not get the position and the position is still open.  I felt that I lost out on the position because they felt that I did not have grant writing experience and capital campaign experience. I felt differently however. Grant writing was something I wanted to do for a while and this just precipitated it. I also enrolled for a capital campaign workshop in June in Nashville, Tennessee. 

Being part of the chamber also prompted me to seek more leadership experiences – though I feel there is no room for me to grow there at the Chamber, I might as well try to find places where I can develop skills. Toastmasters is a good place to learn in public speaking, speech writing and leadership skills. 

What would be my dream?  – is to work for a not for profit organization, ideally in the arts – in a leadership role. I loved what I did at Firebrick Gallery and Pottery Studio, where I met artists, customers, students and was a part of a community. I strongly feel that art should be inclusive and is vital to the educational, personal, and community development.

I don’t know what God has intended for me. I really don’t. When my dreams get shattered, it really hurts. it is devastating. At least to me it is. He’s given me a lot of talents  and passion.  I sure as “Heck” would like to use them. It’s the where, when, what, how is the answer I don’t have. 

My life certainly has been quite the journey. A lot of it has been frustrating. A lot of it has been good. I believe that you only live once and you might as well do the best you can with it. Live it as how you want to live it, not as how others say you should live it. I’ve got a bucket list and so far, I’ve been able to check off some of them. I want to keep going down that bucket list, and to be able to say, Hey at least, I tried those things. It was good. 

Now, my plan is to go to Joanns and spend part of the day in the basement studio since the temperatures have finally reached the 30’s. 

Carpe Diem.




One thought on “Day ten – shattered dreams

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  1. Chris,
    I have really enjoyed reading your blog, you are always such an inspiration to me! I find it’s so easy to become complacent about not only acting on my dreams, but in determining what those dreams are in the first place! I am frequently a procrastinator and as an artist, there is no room for that if I want to excel and achieve. Thank you for your willingness to be transparent and vulnerable in sharing your story, it makes me want to work harder at becoming a better artist and a better person!

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