Going on a spiritual journey

Yes, I am embarking on a spiritual journey – actually a journey to reclaim my creativity and spirituality. I had purchased a book, by Julia Cameron, titled, “the Complete Artist’s Way” – oh so long ago, that I cannot remember when I actually purchased it. 

So, here it is in 2014. Yesterday on January 1st, I read the first chapter, which was the introduction. Julia says she teaches workshops to many individuals on how to let themselves to be creative. I believe everyone is creative, so does she. 

She also believes that we have these ‘gifts” and we’re supposed to use them. God is the creator, and creativity is God’s gift to us, thus using our creativity is our gift back to God. I can accept that too. 

Today, I read the second chapter, titled, The Basic Tools. There are two non-negotiable items that I am to do; one is called, “The morning pages” and the other is “artist date.” The morning pages is when I am to write down anything that is on my mind every morning. Anything. And it must be three pages long. Even if I type, “I have nothing to say” three pages long, I must do this every morning. 

Julia says these morning pages are the “primary tool of creative recovery.” As creative individuals, we tend to criticize ourselves mercilessly. Oh yes, we do. We are extremely critical of ourselves. She calls this side of ourselves, the “Censor”. It is a cunning foe. It is hissing vile things, like a serpent. She says we must get these things down on paper – first thing, every morning. It can be anything, the mundane, the whiny, the weepy, the critical, the anger, the happy, whatever, and never skip or skimp on morning pages. 

Ok. 

Next is the “artist date”. We’re to set aside allotted time to nurture our creative consciousness every week. A play date that you defend agains all interlopers. She says two hours a week. I am thinking that is not enough time for me! I want more than two hours a week! I would like to see if I can do an hour a night with an occasional class/workshop. 

Since December 24th I have managed to set aside two hours a day, going downstairs to the basement, to sketch, to sew, and to paint. It has been wonderful. Definitely a happy time for me. Managed to get down to the Detroit Art Institute of Arts last Friday – mostly hung out in the Modern African American section and the Modern Art Section. Also this past week, I’ve learned how to bake english muffins and butternut and carrot soup from scratch. 

When I read that I am to commit to writing “morning pages” as I embark on this journey – I thought, ok. I can do this. My handwriting is terrible though. I would rather type it. The more I thought about it, I realize that I travel occasionally, thus it could be a bit of a challenge to do this daily. However I could log into my iPad or my laptop, go into my blog, and enter my morning page for the day. 

Then I realized that it would mean sharing my thoughts with “readers”.  So, here it goes. I am opening myself up to you, sharing my journey with you. This is not easy for me, I hope you do realize. I do not like showing my vulnerable side to others.  Asking for help is the hardest part of me. I realize it is a stubborn, prideful, willful part of me that I am continuously working on. I could use the prayers, support, encouragement and constructive feedback. I also hope maybe you would embark on a journey of some sort as well, and share it with me too. Whatever journey it is, let’s encourage one another, lift and support one another in the spirit of love, compassion and hope of good things to come in the future. 

If you find my morning pages “too much information” for you – just don’t read it then. There will be days that you may find it hard to read. Some days I am angry, bitter, sad, tearful, lonely, fretful, doubtful, and then there are days, i am happy. Lately it’s been half and half. Some days are good and some days are not. 

Right now, it is January 2, 2014. We have more than 4 inches of snow. I do not like snow. I do not like cold. If I had my druthers, I would be living where it is is at least 50 or 60 degrees right now.

Last night was not a good night of sleep. I don’t think I ever got to deep sleep. I had so many weird images and occasional voices. We watched “Life of Pi” – the movie. The one i remember the most is the one of me thinking that I had left Christ stranded in the boat, in the middle of the ocean. I remember thinking that I used to be able to go to sleep, visualizing his face, then saying my prayers before falling into deep sleep. I haven’t done that in a long time. I haven’t seen his face. I wondered if he left me or if I left him. . . there was this part in the movie where Pi meets Christ – not actually Christ but a man who looked like him in a church. I remembered in my dream thinking, “is it him?” And when he came closer, no,  it wasn’t him. It was someone else. However his face was nice and gentle. I just walked away from him – in the middle of the ocean. Yes, me walking on water and he’s in the boat (that Pi was in). That’s the only part of the dream I can remember. It has me thinking today – a lot about that. 

 

Husband is off to work. My only two plans for today – this afternoon is to get to Sound Advantage to see if they can swap out my remote starter to my new 2004 Buick and to Trekt Outdoors to get something to keep Charles’s face warm. I also have to pick up dinner for tonight – I’m thinking pork chops, mashed potatoes and creamed corn. 

But I am going to wait until this afternoon until the snow tapers off since it appears I will need to shovel the driveway (our snowplow crew has been nonexistent). This morning, my plan is to work on a couple of “foundation” ideas I have, check on the blackboard, work on the fundraising letter for Paint  A Miracle and hopefully get down to the basement! (my studio).  

Carpe Diem.  *I hope to have that tattooed on me someday. 😉

Christine 

 

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